MC Moseley In Da House

Big news from the Moseley Family this week, with the arrival of their 3rd offspring, Mitchell Calvin. It'll be great to meet my new nephew, who already has the initials (if not the skills) for a great career in the rap industry.

Mom, Dad, Baby and Two Sisters are all doing fine, and Gus (their dog) has to wonder how long before this little thing starts yanking on his damn tail. I couldn't be happier for them, and can't wait to see this little guy grow up with his two rad sisters.

After getting the news, I was thinking about this kid's first day in the world, the whole being born and everything, and I realized that it has to really suck to be born...think about it for a second: For your whole existence, your whole life, things had been nice and quiet, warm and cozy. When you wanted food, there was food. You never had to look for an alley to pee in, because you can just pee in the placenta or whatever the hell is in there. Basically, it was stress-free living.

Then one day, no matter how hard you tried to stay (and I think Mitchell was intent on staying, hence the induced birthing), you were forced out into some new place full of bright lights, loud noises and sharp objects. Seriously, one of the first things this kid saw was a hospital operating-type room (right?). Even when you're grown-up those rooms are hella scary. Then someone yanks you out, cuts off your food tube (I'd be more pissed about that than anything, I think), and starts poking and prodding at you.

Finally, things calm down a little, and then someone has to come in and cut on your brand new wiener (aka circumcision). If this were me, I'd be concerned that they do this EVERY DAY.

Hopefully Mitchell takes the whole birthing/growing better, and as long as there's no more wiener-cutting, I'm sure he'll take to the outside world in no time.

'Piss Central'

The exterminator guy just left, and he couldn't stop commenting on the pee-friendly corners and hideaways my apartment windows look out on.

First he was spraying bug stuff around my living room window and started with "Wow, you've got the prime alley view here," which is totally true. And it sucks. Then he added to it with something about how the little corner right by my window was perfect spot to "sneak a whiz." I'll be sure to put that in the ad when I try to sell this place someday.

Then in my bedroom, he looked out the back window and said something about "That little corner there looks like piss central." Nice.

Home sweet home.

GSD

I couldn't come up with a name for this post, so I went with the acronym. It's for Go Skateboarding Day, which was this past Saturday, June 21. I happened to be in NYC (another acronym, look out) for the weekend to watch the Reds pummel the crappy Yankees, so it worked out good to hit up the Brooklyn Banks on GSD. ASAP. PDQ.

Ok, enough acronym jokes. They'd probably be better if they were funny.

Anyway, so we hit up the Banks on Saturday morning, and it was insane. A cop that was walking around there told us there were 3,000 people there, and I believe it. Every section of that place was covered with people skating, lurking, gawking, shooting photos, whatever. Pros were on hand and just killing everything in sight, and all kinds of sick skating was the order of the day. It was a great thing to see, even if it was rough trying to push with so many people around.

I was basically the anti-crowd guy, and did my best to find the little corners that weren't being skated to toss out whatever I could on the massive bank. Another day out there, and the chance to do more than 1 run every 2 minutes, and I think I'd have a better day of skating, but I didn't even care. It was just cool to skate a legendary spot.

Like most of NYC (and the East Coast for that matter), there's a strong aroma of urine in pretty much every corner of the Banks, which fit in with Dbag's newly-named 10 Foot Rule, which basically said that every 10 feet in NYC something smelled like crap. I'm guessing that's not gonna be on the NYC tourism posters any time soon.

I barely noticed, but maybe that's b/c pretty much every skate spot in the world smells like pee.

Big props go out to Rick for showing us around the city and letting me crash on his floor. And even bigger props for his record-setting Cone Toss on Sunday morning. Well done. We'll look for you in Beijing, and those cabbies deserved it.