The Skullet

I didn't even know the Skullet was a real thing. One more reason to be pumped about my nephew. He's rocking the Skullet proudly, and has no idea just how badass he actually is.

This Boy's Going Places

I'd say he's off to a strong start. Displaying this much drool and vomit while still going about your business is a sign of power. Watch out for Mitchell. He's a force to be reckoned with.

The Nephew

He may not have that perpetual motion thing down yet, but I love the look little Mitchell has going these days.

My family thinks this little fella looks like his Lurking Uncle. He's definitely got my drool move down pat, and it's good to see he's communicating (with sign language!) at such a young age. Nice work, young man.

Perpetual Motion

I know that true Perpetual Motion doesn't exist (b/c of some physics laws or something else they didn't teach in remedial math), but the closest thing to it has to be my little nieces. I spent the holidays with my family at my sister's house, and it was wild watching her daughters haul ass around the house nonstop.

Well, kinda nonstop. When they stop, it's in a crash and/or a mess of some kind, usually involving tears and a combo of food, baby dolls, tears, and a few of the bodily fluids that are ejected out of diapers on impact.

I guess you just get used to it when you have kids, but I was a little overwhelmed by all the urine. I tried to stop my cleanliness OCD from kicking in, and I think I did a pretty good job, although I wanted one of those elephant hoses to shower me off when I got back to DC. Instead I came back to no hot water. My first shower then ended with me yelling at the shower head for its lack of heat. Not a pretty scene.

All in all a great holiday and it was too funny watching the Moseley offspring being crazy little kids. They're great girls and my sister and her husband show incredible patience and a capacity to absorb all the calamity. Even the stuff that has poo involved.

(There's a 3rd offspring, too, but he gets his own post. He didn't really fit in the 'perpetual motion' idea, since he can't really move yet, although he contributed his fair amount of urine to the festivities)

MC Moseley In Da House

Big news from the Moseley Family this week, with the arrival of their 3rd offspring, Mitchell Calvin. It'll be great to meet my new nephew, who already has the initials (if not the skills) for a great career in the rap industry.

Mom, Dad, Baby and Two Sisters are all doing fine, and Gus (their dog) has to wonder how long before this little thing starts yanking on his damn tail. I couldn't be happier for them, and can't wait to see this little guy grow up with his two rad sisters.

After getting the news, I was thinking about this kid's first day in the world, the whole being born and everything, and I realized that it has to really suck to be born...think about it for a second: For your whole existence, your whole life, things had been nice and quiet, warm and cozy. When you wanted food, there was food. You never had to look for an alley to pee in, because you can just pee in the placenta or whatever the hell is in there. Basically, it was stress-free living.

Then one day, no matter how hard you tried to stay (and I think Mitchell was intent on staying, hence the induced birthing), you were forced out into some new place full of bright lights, loud noises and sharp objects. Seriously, one of the first things this kid saw was a hospital operating-type room (right?). Even when you're grown-up those rooms are hella scary. Then someone yanks you out, cuts off your food tube (I'd be more pissed about that than anything, I think), and starts poking and prodding at you.

Finally, things calm down a little, and then someone has to come in and cut on your brand new wiener (aka circumcision). If this were me, I'd be concerned that they do this EVERY DAY.

Hopefully Mitchell takes the whole birthing/growing better, and as long as there's no more wiener-cutting, I'm sure he'll take to the outside world in no time.