Descent Into Madness

When UC fired their awesome, tracksuit-wearing head coach a few years ago (after he vomited in his car during a DUI stop), they went from being a good college basketball team that choked in the tournament every year to just a shitty team overall. Not good times.

Then they hired this little Irish fella and continued to suck.

This year, however, the sucking stopped for a bit, and they played well enough to earn a spot in the NCAA tournament. By the luck of some nationality that had a day of drinking this week, UC was playing in the DC bracket, so we scalped some tickets, snuck in a bottle of rum (b/c there's no alcohol sold at NCAA tournament games) and watched UC dismantle Missouri. I learned a few things in the process:

1. My jacket pocket easily fits a small bottle of rum
2. Missouri's mascot (a tiger) looks like Chester the Cheetah
3. Kansas fans should be dropped off a cliff
4. Lower-level seats are pretty sweet
5. Angry scalpers may tell you to 'Go Kill Yourself'
6. College band folks are just fatter high school band folks

Oxford, Smoxford

It's been a good year for the OU Bobcats (my alma mater) in the news, even when they're not in the news. Try and keep up here...

When I was picking colleges, there were two schools of thought for staying in Ohio; I could either go to a school with a city campus (UC, OSU) or a college town (OU, Miami). Miami of Ohio was the uppity, we-don't-wear-sweats-to-class, bourgeoisie option (at least as much as that's possible in Ohio), and Ohio U was the hippie school that riots when they close the bars early.

If you've been reading this blog, you know which direction I went.

So it brought me so much pleasure to learn that Miami's much-heralded Greek community apparently can't hold their liquor, or their feces, when it's time to party. Apparently a few cases of crappy beer makes their frat boys/sorority girls a hot mess of puking, fornicating debauchery, and it's all public record. Outstanding.

At OU, that shit would just be another weekend. But apparently at Miami good times=poop party. At Ohio we (usually) use the indoor plumbing when it's time for #2. Stupid Redhawks.

Here's a non-censored version of the story, with a letter of complaint from the poor lady trying to protect the lodge area from all the flying poo, urine, vomit and other internal fluids.

Burnouts 1, Smarties 0

Big upset in the NCAA tournament yesterday, as my alma mater (I hate that stupid term) OU beat the ass out of big-school smartypants preppies Georgetown yesterday. Not only was it OU's first tourney win since I was in 2nd grade, but it was apparently the largest margin of defeat for a 14 seed over a 3 seed.

All that means that I'm wearing my Ohio gear with pride today in the nation's capital, and those popped collar douchebags can go to mommy and daddy's vacation retreat to lick their wounds. OU folks will be at the bar. Suckas.

F UK

Ha ha....that didn't last long...looks like perfection was not in the cards for the UK basketball team, and I couldn't be happier. Between their shady-ass coach (he's had two Final Fours at two different schools wiped out b/c of scandals), UK fans sense of entitlement, and the fact that their school is, you know, in Kentucky, there are plenty of reasons to hate on them.

And even better that a PG who played for Cincinnati (albeit briefly) led the charge. Although South Carolina is just a sunnier version of Kentucky with a few beaches, I can get in their corner for a special occasion like this.

Even a phone call from Obama, where he warned them about choking, couldn't stop the loss from coming. Oh well. Now let's just see if Calipari can get to the tournament without putting another school on probation. My vote is no.