Eat That Turkey

 

Spent Turkey Day 2011 in Baltimore with my ladyfriend's family, where we ate a kickass fried turkey. I've gone the fried turkey route once before with my family, and after my 2nd round, I'm hooked. So much better. Dare I say it was a moist, succulent bird.

My favorite job is to stand outside and watch the turkey cook in oil. If I smoked cigars, that would be a perfect complement, but I just drank beer as my turkey-cooking activity, and it was pretty great.

I did fail at my only real job, which was to push a button when some light started blinking. I pushed it once the blinking started, but the blinking did not stop. I did nothing else, and was shortly thereafter relieved of duty.

After gorging for two days, I've been pretty much immobile since.

Big thanks to the Ladyfriend's Family for hosting me and giving me simple jobs.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

All Hallow's Eve

Still the best holiday ever. If you're not in a costume you're doing it wrong.

Halloween Hijinks

I've written before how much Halloween kicks ass. I know lots of people think they've outgrown it or whatever, but they're wrong. They just don't have good enough costumes or a good party to go to.

I got together with Dexter, his victim, Christine O'Donnell (in witch garb), Liza Minelli (or that dude from Green Day, hard to tell) and some kind of hippie Jason Vorhees. I think they felt comforted having a Zombie Hunter with them. You can't be too safe when the undead are walking around.

St. Patricks Day, Down South

At its best, the South is a quaint slice of Americana, where old traditions and ways of living have persevered and even thrived, despite the rest of the world's drive to modernize.

At its worst, well, I don't even know what to say that this video of a supposed leprechaun sighting in Mobile, Alabama doesn't already say:



My favorite part: The Sketch. Holy shit that thing is incredible.

Perpetual Motion

I know that true Perpetual Motion doesn't exist (b/c of some physics laws or something else they didn't teach in remedial math), but the closest thing to it has to be my little nieces. I spent the holidays with my family at my sister's house, and it was wild watching her daughters haul ass around the house nonstop.

Well, kinda nonstop. When they stop, it's in a crash and/or a mess of some kind, usually involving tears and a combo of food, baby dolls, tears, and a few of the bodily fluids that are ejected out of diapers on impact.

I guess you just get used to it when you have kids, but I was a little overwhelmed by all the urine. I tried to stop my cleanliness OCD from kicking in, and I think I did a pretty good job, although I wanted one of those elephant hoses to shower me off when I got back to DC. Instead I came back to no hot water. My first shower then ended with me yelling at the shower head for its lack of heat. Not a pretty scene.

All in all a great holiday and it was too funny watching the Moseley offspring being crazy little kids. They're great girls and my sister and her husband show incredible patience and a capacity to absorb all the calamity. Even the stuff that has poo involved.

(There's a 3rd offspring, too, but he gets his own post. He didn't really fit in the 'perpetual motion' idea, since he can't really move yet, although he contributed his fair amount of urine to the festivities)

Thanks and Stuff

Big, long weekend is just finishing off, and it was a pretty good one. Had a great thanksgiving dinner with friends, worked on the Ramp a little, skated some, and piled out as much as possible.

I know this is where you're supposed to give thanks, but that whole thing has already been blown out. I'll give thanks to the Bengals for beating the sorry-ass Browns, and to Notre Dame for sealing Charlie Tuna's fate. And to the handful people who still read magazines, which helps me have a job. Everyone besides that has probably already been thanked.