MC Moseley In Da House

Big news from the Moseley Family this week, with the arrival of their 3rd offspring, Mitchell Calvin. It'll be great to meet my new nephew, who already has the initials (if not the skills) for a great career in the rap industry.

Mom, Dad, Baby and Two Sisters are all doing fine, and Gus (their dog) has to wonder how long before this little thing starts yanking on his damn tail. I couldn't be happier for them, and can't wait to see this little guy grow up with his two rad sisters.

After getting the news, I was thinking about this kid's first day in the world, the whole being born and everything, and I realized that it has to really suck to be born...think about it for a second: For your whole existence, your whole life, things had been nice and quiet, warm and cozy. When you wanted food, there was food. You never had to look for an alley to pee in, because you can just pee in the placenta or whatever the hell is in there. Basically, it was stress-free living.

Then one day, no matter how hard you tried to stay (and I think Mitchell was intent on staying, hence the induced birthing), you were forced out into some new place full of bright lights, loud noises and sharp objects. Seriously, one of the first things this kid saw was a hospital operating-type room (right?). Even when you're grown-up those rooms are hella scary. Then someone yanks you out, cuts off your food tube (I'd be more pissed about that than anything, I think), and starts poking and prodding at you.

Finally, things calm down a little, and then someone has to come in and cut on your brand new wiener (aka circumcision). If this were me, I'd be concerned that they do this EVERY DAY.

Hopefully Mitchell takes the whole birthing/growing better, and as long as there's no more wiener-cutting, I'm sure he'll take to the outside world in no time.