Ryan's Dome

Two weeks ago my friend Ryan was on his way to work, riding his bike, minding his own bidness, when some biyotch who shouldn't be driving hit him with her car. Ryan got tossed to the sidewalk, headfirst, and learned the hard way that your head sucks for stopping a fall.

Luckily, he not only survived but wasn't even mangled that bad. After 20-odd staples, a surprisingly long catheter, a few nights in the hospital, and a titanium plate or two he's good as new.

Everyone was relieved and pumped to see Ryan's stapled dome up and around. I'd tell people to be careful and wear a helmet, but I don't wear one either, so I guess just be careful and don't ever go anywhere that half-blind dumbasses might be running over people on bikes.