Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Cup

Right now my niece is getting potty trained, and apparently doing a good job with it. Nice work, Elise.

But if she really wants to get fancy, I've got a new move for her. Actually, it's more of an adult move, since it involves hanging out in public alone, which she's not quite ready for yet, being 2 and all.

Twice in the last week I've been 3 feet or less away from a dude peeing in a cup. Seriously.

The first guy was on the corner of 14th and Pennsylvania (about 2 blocks from the White House), standing in front of a bookstore. At first peek, I thought for some reason his belt was hanging in the Big Gulp cup he was holding near his loins. Then I tried to figure out why he was tucking his belt back through his zipper. Then once my eyes started pouring blood, I realized I was looking at his, um, equipment. I really wish it had been his belt.

So i figure this guy got a 6 from the judges for difficulty and form; he was a little sloppy on the landing, which left him with a few dribbles on his pants, and he also lost points for having to transfer cups and leaving the snake out a little too long.

The next guy, however, was sitting down in the park on my walk home, and using a smaller gatorade bottle. With the smaller opening, and the difficulty raised by sitting down, the judges gave the Park Pee guy an 8.

Well done, sir. And thank you for teaching me a new trick.


tem said...

Nothing but the best from our capitol. love, mom

Anonymous said...

Thanks for linking me to your sister's site. Got lots of funny comments from co-workers when Wham started playing in my cube. Have her put some Slayer or some shit on there...