Sunday, July 27, 2008

Best of the Worst


At dinner with a bunch of friends this weekend, and we got on the topic of movie villains. After a little bit, we were trying to come up with a top 5 all-time best movie badguys...with a few criteria. These weren't hard and fast rules, but more general guidelines:

1. Must be a true badguy, not an evil/flawed character that was really one of the guys you're cheering for. This took out all movies where the badguy is the main character.
2. They had to be a major player in the movie, not just someone who was a faceless evil presence or something. I don't remember why that was important, other than that you wanted to see a lot of them to qualify them for the top 5 all-time.
3. It needed to be a single figure, not an entire force, like the Nazis or the Aliens or something.
4. Extra weight for appearing in sequels.

So after a solid debate, here's my top 5:

1. Darth Vader
Probably the all-time best-known movie badguy, and he had the force. So he was basically an evil future space ninja with magic powers. Untouchable.

2. Jaws
This was a controversial choice because it's not a person, but since it's my list, the shark stays. I'm also still scared to swim in the ocean because of those movies, so that's gotta count for something.

3. The Joker (Heath Ledger, not Nicholson)
Best depiction of an iconic comic badguy. Bonus points for a rumor that Ledger loosely based the character on former Sex Pistols frontman Johnny Rotten.

4. Ivan Drago, Rocky IV
It was the height of the cold war, and there's a big steroid-pumped Russian boxer who beats Apollo to death and then tries to take the title from Rocky. Not on our watch, Commie. Bonus points for Drago's real name being Dolph.

5. Glenn Close, Fatal Attraction
I was only 11 or something when this movie came out, and it still scared the crap out of me. The basic message was that if a girl freaks out on you in a relationship, she may start boiling your pets. Terrified guys of all ages for years to come.

Lifetime Achievement Award: Billy Zabka
Zabka was the classic high school/college assface preppy bully guy. He hooked up with your girlfriend and kicked your ass. Probably in the same night. Best known for his role as Johnny in The Karate Kid, but also was sneering and being an overall dick as Audrey's boyfriend in Vacation and that diver guy Chas in Back To School.

I'm sure there's about 1,000 other possibilities here. Really, the only one that I think is a lock is Darth Vader. If anyone else has a good addition to the list, send it on.

4 comments:

A, E, e, a said...

Love the list...was Hans Gruber discussed? He was pretty serious out at the Nakatomi Plaza

KM said...

Hans Gruber was discussed for sure, and just narrowly missed the cut. His work at the Nakatomi Plaza earns him an Honorable Mention at the very least.

Paul M said...

Kathy Bates from Misery? Kidnaps famous person out in the woods, is completely crazy and has serious sledgehammer skills.

KM said...

damn-Kathy Bates is a good one. Hobbling your houseguests should get you in the discussion for sure.