The Contract, Updated

So apparently the non-scooping-poo policy is also in effect when it's raining. The rain is even worse than the snow in some ways, because those unclaimed turds start to partially disintegrate immediately, and it makes them blend in with leaves and shit like that. This camo technique ups the chance of them getting stepped on, according to my studies.

I'm starting to think there needs to be a more severe fine (I'm not even sure there's a fine enforced at all, actually) for this anti-social behavior. I propose that the person who catches you neglecting to pick up your dog's feces gets to pick up said feces (with your gloves or unused plastic bags) and gets one throw, from 10 paces, to hit either you or the dog with the steaming turds.

It's fair, and it would be great to watch. I'd be hiding in the bushes around here, ready to leap out and start throwin' poop.

Streak Broken

I was just bragging last night about my proudest current streak: it's been at least 4 years since I've stepped in dog poo. Or human poo. Basically, it's been a good non-poo streak.

I was walking a friend home and helped her dodge a huge, smeared pile on the sidewalk. Proudly, I told her about my streak and immediately knew I had made a mistake. The poo gods don't like to be called out. I knew there was a good chance I was jinxing this streak of awesomeness.

I was right. Walking to work this morning, I looked down and noticed leaves stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Sure enough, the method of leaf-sticking was doodoo. Dammit. Streak over.

So to the owner that let their dog shit on the sidewalk: thanks for ruining my streak and starting my Friday on the wrong note. I hope you get hit by a bus. Asshole.

For all of you dog owners, if you can't be bothered to steer your dog to grass when it starts doing that weird, scrunched-up walk that means it's about to drop bombs, get a cat. It's bad enough I have to watch your dog take a shit, the least you can do is get it off the main walkways.