So apparently I just don't get to sleep any more. When this shit happens once or twice, you think it's a phase, something that will pass. Now it's just become a part of my life.
At least twice a week now, and often more regular than that, I lay down and no matter how tired I am, I slowly start to wake up until I'm wide-ass awake. Then I toss and turn for a few hours before I give up and either throw a temper tantrum or just get up and do work or read bullshit online until it's time to go to work.
Take sleeping pills, you say? Great idea. Didn't. Fucking. Help. At least not last night.
I've tried it all; warm shower before bed, meditation/deep breathing, drinking a glass (or 3) of wine, and about a million other things. I'm getting near my wits end here and really don't know what the hell I'm going to do.
Maybe this is a sign I need to make some major changes. Or maybe it's just a sign that I'm screwed for the next 30 years, or at least until I sleepwalk my ass into oncoming traffic. Fuck.
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3 comments:
You're not screwed. You just need a different medication. Ask your doctor for Ambien CR... it makes you fall asleep and keeps you asleep for 8 hours. Sounds like an infomercial. It works, try it. :)
Do you notice a pattern at all with other factors in your life? Maybe start a tally of 'bad nights'- is it close to work deadlines? How do weekends go? What about days when you skate a bunch and get lots of fresh air? just an idea...
I have a mallet. I can send a gnome over around 10:39 each night to whack you on the noggin.
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